The past three weeks have easily been some of the most stressful in a long while - notice the lack of posts. I am a very goal oriented person, and set a high standard for myself in everything from vocal performance, personal finance and physical fitness. While these standards do create some stress, I get a fair amount of energy from the progress I see. Recently, at the office, a very high profile, big dollar proposal had many of my coworkers and partners getting a little hot under the collar. I actually had fun. I won’t go so far as to say I thrive on stress – like most of the world, I like my downtime too – I will say that I can position even the most unpleasant pressures into positive challenges.
To reuse a cliché, I can look at the bright side – that is until a point. If I can’t visualize the optimal outcome from my work, progress along the way, or alternative benefits if my end goal is not realized, the stresses created by one unaligned goal can turn the tables on everything. No, I am not saying I go bonkers and need physiological help – I get a completely miserable cold – one that makes it very difficult to accomplish even the most basic tasks. It doesn't happen often. Last time was three years ago. It is somewhat random in a way... Most times I seem to sail through this negativity, turning it into something positive, or just ignoring the negativity and moving forward.
On Monday, an initiative at the office that had for several weeks given me extraordinary amount of energy, turned very negative. I can point to the specific point in a conference call. The statement was not in any way directed at me, or anything I had done, but made me question the outcome I visualized. It illustrated, despite a huge amount of work, that little or no progress had been made. This opportunity initially seemed to have so many other benefits besides my end goal. Now I laugh at those initial thoughts as naive.
The bad cold came Tuesday afternoon. Chest cough, heavy head, glassy eyes, completely clogged nose, sore throat.
Yet, the cold came - a serious signal for me to step back - and re-evaluate. I didn't, just kept going. Add a minor mistake (forgot to attach a document), I feel mad, frustrated, hopeless, guilty and stupid – in addition to suffering through constant nose blowing on a packed Acela train moving like a snail through Connecticut from New York to Boston on a Friday night. I’m not feeling to great about anything.
Very good that colds only last seven to ten days, and I’ll be back to my normal self by the end of this week. As for stupid comments, like "Don't be a woos," well I guarantee when the tables are flipped, I'll try to make my sick team member feel better, not worse.
